Saturday, January 12, 2008

Torn

So, I love being a mom....especially Ben's mom. He is the most amazing little boy that I have ever met....but then again, I'm a little biased.

But, it's hard being a mom. The hardest part for me right now is that I feel great, but my body is not great yet....it still needs to heal! I want to do so much more than my body will let me do right now. I over-did it yesterday with a really long walk and carrying things that were too heavy. So, today, I was forced to sit on the couch with my feet up...hoping that my body would get back on track.

It's also hard to do the same thing day in and day out. It's kind of making me go a little crazy. I find myself wishing the day away....just so that I can sleep again. Then, I get all upset, because I realize how special this time is for me, for my son and for my husband....so I feel guilty for actually wanting the days to pass by.

So, 5pm is my "weepy hour"....or so it has been named. I really hope that my body will get back up to par quickly so that I can actually start walking and visiting with people and running errands and such again. I think that once I am able to do more, I will feel better.

In other news....my wonderful husband took little Benjamin out tonight to give me some time to myself....which is why I am on the computer right now. I just got a phone call from him. He told me that he forgot the diaper bag!! hehehehe...and that my son will be wearing a size 3 diaper when he comes home....and to please not yell at him. I think he learned his lesson....he was pretty embarrassed that all the people at the party found out that he forgot the bag and wouldn't let him keep Benjamin's dirty diaper on until they got home.

I love my husband. There is no way I could do this without him....He's my sanity!

4 comments:

The Priests said...

It is hard, especially the first few weeks/months! Even when they're two, and supposedly 'easier' to take care of (pretty much feed themselves, entertain themselves, etc.), you have some of those same feelings. Of course, there's an entirely new gamut of frustrations that come with a toddler... LOL. But the joyous moments? It makes it ALL *SO* worth the hard times. :) Hang in there (and call if you need anything)!

andiewade said...

yes, it's so hard at the beginning, but it's only for a season! i totally lived from feeding to feeding b/c nothing happened in between those times and at least the feedings gave me something to do! and i agree with the person above me about the 2-year-old thing. some days i have all the patience in the world and other days it's more like "if you make me sing the bumble bee song one more time i'm going to jump out the window and run into the street!" but all little kid stuff in general is only a season, b/c these kids are growing up so fast!

i'll be right there with you in a few weeks, completely losing my mind! :)

The Priests said...

Hey, we hope you come today... Stephanie said her schedule is a bit busy tomorrow (Tuesday) and doesn't want to miss seeing you!

Kelli said...

Don't get too discouraged! You will eventually feel like your normal self, and more able to enjoy being a mom. Don't expect to feel all warm fuzzys all the time! It took me quite a few weeks to be myself again. The most important thing is for you to rest as much as you can, and take care of yourself. That's kind of all you can do now, is just wait for each day to go by until you can really recover! I remember thinking that day would never come, but it will! RIght now I feel like I have a newborn again, b/c Maddie is teething and fussy and want to be held all the time and waking up 3 and 4 times a night! Tell you husband to keep up the good work and keep taking good care of you! Miss you and hope to come visit sooN!